Last night, Chelsea Handler appeared on The Jay Leno Show.  It was a rather boring appearance until the very end when Leno surprised Handler by unveiling her Playboy cover. 

It was soooo obvious the photo had been photoshopped!  Chelsea joked that she had quit drinking “for a day” to get in shape for her photo shoot.  However, after the photo was revealed, she said, “We need the guy that airbrushed me to come back.”

I think Chelsea was really caught off guard.  I think she realized that the photo looked nothing like her in a bikini!  Obviously, she HAD to make a comment about the airbrushing!

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After meeting Jocelyn Wildenstein, Courtney Love has vowed to NEVER have plastic surgery again!

Courtney told The Sun:  ”I could do with another boob lift, but no way. I don’t want to end up looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein. She looked freaky.”

ahhh…poor Jocelyn.  You KNOW you are messed up in the face when even Courtney Love talks smack about you!

I agree with Courtney though.  Nobody should have that much plastic surgery…or…you clearly have issues with yourself! 

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Levi Johnston has officially CONFIRMED he will be posing NUDE for Playgirl.

His manager has said:  ”Everything’s gonna hang out. We’re talking full johnson.”

(umm…Doesn’t he mean “full Johnston?!”)

Levi Johnston has been pretty much touring the country bashing his child’s grandmother, Sarah Palin.  He has sold his “story” to just about everyone in the media at this point! 

Johnston will be shooting the nude pics on November 16th, which is the same day Sarah Palin will be appearing on Oprah.  I’m sure she will have something to say about this!

As far as the shoot, a rep for Playgirl has revealed they are working on some athletic scene stuff for Johnston.  He will probably appear nude in a gym or ice rink (side note: dude played ice hockey). 

If anyone has actually dated someone that has played ice hockey, then YOU already know they STINK!  Not because they are just sweaty, stinky men, but because their pads are filthy, stinky GROSS!  Those men STINK to high heaven!  Levi doesn’t exactly strike me as someone who takes a shower, so I’m completely grossed out by him.  Why would anyone want to see him naked?!  Ewww!  Just another attempt for someone pathetic to try and hold on to their 5 seconds of fame.

Man, I feel so sorry for Bristol Palin.  Her dumbass had a baby with this jerk, and now she is stuck dealing with his bullsh*t forever!  I hope this gives girls a reason to use condoms…or better yet… abstain from sex!  JUST SAY NO!   

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Josh Duhamel CHEATED on Fergie?!?! 

I hope to GOD this is just a horrible rumor, but the National Enquirer is reporting that Josh Duhamel cheated on his wife, Fergie, with a stripper! 

While Duhamel was in Georgia filming Life As We Know It, he and a friend visited the Tattletales Lounge.  That is where he reportedly met stripper Nicole Forrester, who performs under the name ‘Delilah.’  According to Nicole, Duhamel told her his name was “JD”, and he was in town filming a porno.  After a few drinks of Grey Goose, Duhamel asked for a nude dance.  Nicole stripped and danced for Duhamel and his friend. 

“I told him, ‘You are gorgeous’ and he said, ‘You’re hot, too,” claims Nicole.

Before Duhamel and his friend left, he asked for Nicole’s number.  Several days later, Duhamel called Nicole and invited her to his hotel room at the St. Regis.  Nicole went to his hotel, and she claims they had sex.     

The Enquirer paid for Nicole’s story, but they also claim Nicole has passed an extensive polygraph test.  Josh Duhamel has clearly denied the story.

I don’t know who to believe?!?!  Do we believe the skanky stripper who passed a polygraph…or…the hot, sexy Hollywood actor who is married to Fergie?!?! 

Fergie is probably sitting in a corner somewhere pissed off at the world right now…poor thing.  My heart goes out to the Fergie Ferg!

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So, apparently Rosie O’Donnell is smokin’ crack! 

Rosie claims she ALMOST had a hook-up with Angelina Jolie!  Rosie went on Howard Stern a couple of days ago, and claimed that she almost had sexy times with Angelina back in the day!!  Apparently, prior to Angelina’s marriage to Billy Bob Thornton, Rosie and Angelina talked briefly and almost hooked up!  Us Magazine reported: 

“She gave me her phone number,” O’Donnell recalls.
“We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that . . .There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.” she said.
“I was a little afraid of her. She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

I really doubt Angelina would go for a beast like Rosie, but then again Angelina did go through a druggie period.  She probably didn’t realize.  Angelina was probably on a three/four day drug binge, and when she came out of it…she STOPPED contacting Rosie!  Besides…why is Angelina scary in a sexual kind of way?  Billy Bob claims f*cking Angelina was like f*cking a couch!  And…why does she have dreams about her?!?  Doesn’t Rosie have someone else?!?  Hmmm…Issues!

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Khloe Kardashian is still in need of attention!

I guess after all those years of being the ugly, fat one, she has finally cracked!  Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian got married after one month of dating.  And…word on the street is…she hadn’t even met his kids prior to the marriage!  (I don’t even know if she has met his kids yet!)  Good for her…steer clear of the step-kid/baby-momma drama!

Lamar and Khloe decided they needed to continue to prove their love by getting tattoo’s!!  They got tattoo’s of each other’s initials on their hands.  Khloe took to her blog to explain:

“When we were at dinner, I just knew I wanted a tattoo for Lamar in the web of my hand. Once we got to the shop we decided on getting each other’s initials. I got ‘LO’ in cursive on my right hand and he got ‘KO’ on both hands.”

ugh…whatever!  These celebrities are retarded!

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‘The Real Housewives of Orange County’ housewhore housewife Gretchen Rossi and her boyfriend, Slade Smiley, hit up the Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood, California the other day.  Rossi showed up wearing daisy dukes, boots, and an orange shirt that showed off her stomach.  Clearly, that is what EVERYONE wears to the pumpkin patch!   

Gretchen is soooo desperate to be seen!  She wants to be sexy…ugh!  Can’t she give it up?!  She needs to

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Stephanie Pratt has been arrested!  And NO…she wasn’t arrested for being BUSTED!  Pratt was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence at 3:45am this morning in Hollywood. 

Pratt was taken into custody, and her bail was set at $5,000. 

Apparently, some club goers leaving the club saw Pratt being arrested.  It caused a bit of a scene, and some people started taking pictures.  Other people got annoyed by the picture takers, and it started a huge fight in the street while Pratt was being cuffed.  However, Pratt was the only person taken into custody. 

Ugh…Stephanie gets on my last nerve!  She has lost sooo much weight, and her lips look HORRIBLE!!  Plus, her ears are weird and stick out.  She thinks she is soooo hot….ugh…YUCK!

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Meghan McCain posted the above pic to her Twitter account Tuesday night, and it got everyone all crazy!  She thought she was just posting a “fun” picture, but SOME people thought it was a “slutty” pic!  SOME people were totally offended.  I say…GET OVER IT PEOPLE!  The girl has boobs…don’t giver her a hard time because you hate her father, John McCain!  Meghan, 24, has since deleted the picture along with her Twitpic account.  She reached out and said the following:

so I took a fun picture not thinking anything about what I was wearing but apparently anything other than a pantsuit I am a slut, this is why I have been considering deleting my twitter account, what once was fun now just seems like a vessel for harassment
I am going to take some more time to think about it but seriously I was just trying to be funny with the book and that I’m a dork staying in when I am alone in my apartment, I wear tank tops and sweat pants, I had no idea this makes me a “slut”, I can’t even tell you how hurt I am
ok I am getting the fuck off twitter, promise not to delete my account until I sleep on it, thank you for the nice words supporters
I do want to apologize to anyone that was offended by my twitpic, I have clearly made a huge mistake and am sorry 2 those that are offended.

Why does she have to apologize?  She didn’t do anything?  Meghan, you didn’t make a mistake!  Don’t let haters get you down!!! 

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The new bachelor has been announced!  ABC has crowned Jake Pavelka as the new ‘Bachelor’ for the 14th season.

I am officially jealous of all the ladies that get to try to win his heart.  If I wasn’t married, I would actually try out for this season.  JAKE is perfect!  He is hot and such a nice guy.  OMG…I swoon!

Jake, 31, is a pilot and flies commercial jets.  He is from Dallas, Texas, and is also known as Jake Landrum (from when he did some acting earlier in life). 

He was recently on ‘The Bachelorette’ where Jillian got rid of him.  He came back though to warn her about the intentions of Wes and inform her that Wes had a girlfriend.  He basically came back to be the big hero! 

NOBODY was hotter than JAKE!  He was the nice guy…and hopefully this nice guy won’t finish last.  I really hope he finds a great lady…just sucks it won’t be me! 

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