Celebrity Royale

Karina Smirnoff & Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Engagement Over!

08 Sep

Posted by Ms Royale as Dancing With The Stars, Karina Smirnoff, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Mario Lopez

Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff from Dancing with the Stars are no longer an item. The couple have canceled their engagement, because Karina decided she didn’t want her last name to be Chmerkovskiy. Ok…so I made up the last part!

Karina’s spokesperson confirmed the break-up with E!. Nobody knows why the couple split, but I’m sure one of these idiots will hit up twitter with the reason soon enough!

Word on the street is…Maksim broke things off with Karina over the weekend because he was very angry and upset over something she did. WHAT?! I have no idea. She probably screamed out Mario’s name while they were having sex!

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Cheryl Burke: Upset About Her Fat?

09 Oct

Posted by Ms Royale as Cheryl Burke, Dancing With The Stars, Roseanne Barr

Cheryl Burke

Lard ass, Cheryl Burke, is getting all bent out of shape because people have caught on to the fact that she is super fat. She, of course, is getting all upset about it.

I mean…..ok…. Burke isn’t that huge. However, for a dancer, she is pretty damn big. I knew this one girl in highschool who totally thought she was gonna make it in life as a dancer, but she just didn’t have the body for it. She was short and dumpy. She has to basically starve herself just to look decent. It really isn’t her natural body that looks good. So, Cheryl Burke has the same thing going on. Burke isn’t naturally thin. She is going to pork out really soon. She is only one cheeseburger away from being Roseanne Barr!

Burke recently said, “I want kids or women out there to realize you don’t have to be anorexic to be beautiful. There’s a lot of pressure living this Hollywood life. People expect to see you at a certain weight and when you gain a few pounds then all of a sudden it’s the talk of the week. People will always have an opinion about you, whether it’s good or it’s bad. But most important is to have a secure feeling about yourself and know that you’re beautiful regardless of what people think of you. When I was younger, I wasn’t stick thin. I wasn’t tall. I don’t have long legs. I wasn’t naturally skinny. As I grew older, I just became more comfortable in my own skin.”

Poor thing…she will never be thin. She must eat a lot too, because the girl dances a shit ton. She MUST feed the back rolls!! She looked better on last season of Dancing With The Stars….she is letting herself go!

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Kim Kardashian Kicked Off Dancing With The Stars!!

01 Oct

Posted by Ms Royale as Cloris Leachman, Dancing With The Stars, Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Ray J, Rocco DiSpirito

Kim Kardashian and her fat ass were kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night. What I can’t believe is that some people were actually shocked! HA! Kim was one of the worst ones. She can’t dance, and she was so boring. It’s like she was so self conscious about what people thought of her that she could never let go and have any fun. She sucked. I’m glad she is gone!

Truthfully, I thought Kim would last at least another week, because I thought she had more fans than that. I guess they don’t really care about her, don’t watch Dancing With The Stars, or maybe she doesn’t really have any fans. I am just waiting for Rocco DiSpirito to go. He pretty much sucks. I guess people are keeping him around because he is hot though. Cloris Leachman also sucks, but she is hilarious. People love her.

Kim ended her torcher on us by saying, “This was a huge challenge for me. Every dance was a huge accomplishment for me and I did the best I could. And this was the best experience of my life.”

I thought the best experience of her life was her sex tape with Ray J?!?! No?! And if that was the best she could do….then that is soooo sad. Poor thing. It must suck to be Kim Kardashian.

Khloe Kardashian, probably drunk, was extremely proud of Kim. Khloe said, “I am so proud of how hard Kim has worked! She has completely gone out of her comfort zone by doing Dancing With The Stars and I am happy she did. She made the show in my opinion!”

Awww…yeah…clearly it was only Khloe’s opinion, because the rest of the world didn’t seem to think Kim made the show. Hence, Kim going home yesterday.

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Dancing With The Stars: Who Gets Voted Off?!?

24 Sep

Posted by Ms Royale as Brooke Burke, Cloris Leachman, Cody Linley, Dancing With The Stars, Jeffrey Ross, Kim Kardashian, Lance Bass, Maurice Greene, Misty May-Treanor, Rocco DiSpirito, Susan Lucci, Ted McGinley, Toni Braxton, Warren Sapp

Brooke Burke

Tonight Dancing With The Stars will vote off yet another celebrity. Jeffrey Ross was the first celebrity to go last night. I was hoping it would be that cook guy…what is his name again??? Rocco or something? I don’t know. I think Kim Kardashian SUCKS! I doubt she will win, but I’m sure she will stick around for awhile. Cloris Leachman is soooo funny. She can’t dance worth a shit, so she won’t win. But Hell…she will totally stick around for awhile. I think that Cody Linley kid is pretty good, so I think he will go pretty far. Brooke Burke may win it all, because umm….she is Brooke Burke!! Nobody really cares if she can dance…she is super hot! Ummm…Misty-May Treanor is like a dude. She needs to go. Maurice Greene is actually pretty good, and Warren Sapp won’t make it that far. Lance Bass will totally be in the finals, and he may win too. Susan Lucci is one of my favorites!! Toni Braxton is boring, but she might stick around for awhile. Ted McGinley is okay, but he won’t win.

Susan Lucci

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Kristi Yamaguchi Wins Dancing With The Stars!

21 May

Posted by Ms Royale as Cheryl Burke, Cristian de la Fuente, Dancing With The Stars, Edyta Sliwinska, Jason Taylor, Kristi Yamaguchi, Mark Ballas

Kristi Yamaguchi

Kristi Yamaguchi won last night on Dancing With The Stars!! Kristi along with her partner, Mark Ballas, had the highest scores of any competitor in the shows history!

Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas beat out Jason Taylor, his dance partner Edyta Sliwinska, Cristian de la Fuente, and his dance partner Cheryl Burke for the title!!

I’m just glad Cheryl (fat/ugly) Burke didn’t win!! She parades around like she is a famous, hot star….ummmm…NO Cheryl…you aren’t!

Congrats to Kristi and her partner Mark!! You guys deserved it!