Jessica Simpson is bitter.  Why??  Because her life sucks…she sucks…and her sister sucks!  I guess I would be bitter too! 

Jessica took to her Twitter to bitch about her sister sucking so bad.  Jessica wrote:

“CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press.”

Yeah…Melrose Place is doing just fine without Ashlee.  Ya see…producers of the show realize they made a HORRIBLE mistake when they hired Ashlee, so they just tried to make it better by getting rid of her! 

Sources say that Ashlee Simpson was FIRED from Melrose Place because she was “embarrassingly bad!”  Some even said she was the worst actress, but nobody would tell her.  I agree with that!

Ashlee apparently doesn’t want to go back to singing because (1) she can’t really sing and (2) she doesn’t want to be away from Jungle Book boy, Bronx Mowgli.  Let’s review: Ashlee sucks at acting…sucks at singing…sucks at being a wife (this I just assume since Pete parties with other girls)!

What the hell is Jessica bitching about?  And…what would Jessica know about good acting or the different between a good script and a bad script?  Jessica was in Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous, Blonde Ambition, and Major Movie Star.  Did you see any of those?  Nope…I didn’t think so!  Talk about BAD acting!  The Simpson’s need to give it up….   

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RHINOPLASTY (or NOSE JOB) is a surgical procedure people get in order to improve the function or appearance of a human nose! 

There are hundreds of celebrities that have had nose jobs in order to look their best; however, celebs who’ve had rhinoplasty don’t always look better. The most notorious obsessed fan of the rhinoplasty was the late Michael Jackson (R.I.P.). 

I have created a top 10 list of celebrities who have had a rhinoplasty.  These celebrities actually made a wise choice and look much better with their new nose!  

10. Kate Winslet:  She just made a little change, but it looks GREAT!  She now has an award winning nose!

9. Lance Bass: He made a slight change.  It doesn’t look that much different, but it looks good!

8. Ashlee Simpson: She got rid of her bump, and she looks GREAT!  Eventhough she LIED about why she got her nose job, it still looks awesome.

7. Heidi Montag: Girlfriend needed a nose job!  It looks much better smaller!

6. Megan Fox: She looks completely different with her nose job from the front.  It looks much better!

5. Blake Lively: WOW!  Blake made a great choice by getting her nose done!  It looks awesome!

4. Salma Hayek: She thinned out her nose quite a bit.  It looks much better and gives her a softer look.

3. Matt Dillon: He went from having a cute nose to having a nose made for a hunk! UPGRADE!

2. Paula Abdul: She looks soooo much better!  She thinned her nose out, and it totally changed the shape of her face!

1. Angelina Jolie: This nose job was NEEDED!  Her nose didn’t match her looks before.  Now, she has a long and sleek nose instead of her short, stubby nose.

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There’s about to be a what?!?!!  A GIRL FIGHT!

Ashlee Simpson and hubby Pete Wentz attended the ‘DJ Hero’ party at LA’s Wiltern Theater Monday evening.  Along with other celebrities, Michelle Trachtenberg showed up!  (side note: Michelle is Pete’s ex-girlfriend).  Apparently, Michelle attended the event with her new boyfriend.  Michelle and her new beau were sat directly in front of Pete and wife Ashlee.  (side note: NOT A GOOD IDEA)!

The evening started off fine.  Everyone was civil.  An eyewitness said, “Pete and Ashlee had a pleasant conversation with Michelle and her boyfriend for close to 20 minutes.”  Ashlee even showed Michelle baby pictures of Bronx.  While the evening went on, guests started to drink.  Ashlee, no stranger to the bottle, started getting wasted.  An eyewitness claims,”Ashlee got very very drunk and she also kept making frequent bathroom trips.”

“As the evening went on and Ashlee started to get sloppier, things got out of control,” a partygoer confesses.  A loud and obnoxious Ashlee began giving her husband a lap dance.  “She was staring directly at Michelle and starting hurling insults at her,” sources say.  “She was grinding up on Pete like a stripper. It was actually pretty disgusting!”

A completely wasted Ashlee screamed at Michelle, “I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!”

Michelle Trachtenberg was clearly not as drunk and decided to remain classy.  She said, “I’ve never said bad things about you. I’m happy for you guys.”  Ashlee continued to get loud and got in Michelle’s face.  Finally, Mark Hoppus’s wife had to drag Ashlee away from Michelle to avoid a physical assault.  Pete was clearly embarrassed by his wife’s actions.

Couple of things:  First, Ashlee has no real talent-she can’t really sing.  Why does she think she is so great?  The only reason she got a deal is because of her sister.  Second, if she really was fucking Pete the whole time he was dating Michelle, then I wonder who he is fucking now?  Once a cheater….ALWAYS a cheater! Third, she needs to get some class, sit the fuck down, and go take care of that dumbass baby.  Sounds to me..she is JEALOUS of Michelle!!

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Ashlee Simpson Wentz cannot be happy with new hubby, Pete Wentz, and his antics after his Las Vegas show! 

Ashlee attended most of Pete’s shows; however, she had to leave right before the Vegas show to take care of son, Bronx Mowgli.  I guess Pete was all to relieved that his wife couldn’t attend, and reverted back to his bachelor ways! 

Ashlee was clearly upset to leave her “hubs” and took to Twitter saying, “I am beyong sad to leave my love… My heart is breaking as we drive home.  I need my hubs.”

Shortly after the Fall Out Boy concert, Pete and his bandmates were in a hotel room partying with 50 people!  He was grinding up on some biotches!

It really looks like deep down…Pete misses Ashlee and his son…NOT!  My husband would NEVER pull that shit!  Pete should be more careful.  If this is an innocent situation, then he shouldn’t have had his picture taken.  Ashlee cannot feel good about leaving to take care of their child, and then Pete goes on to dance with some bimbo’s!  One party that gets a little out of hand… leads to another party that gets out of hand. 

I give Pete and Ashlee another year or so.  Those Simpson girls find a man and hold on for dear life!!! 

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Ashlee Simpson is so pissed about everyone bashing her sister for her new weight gain.  Ashlee got all serious about it on her blog, so everyone knows her sister Jessica is a size 2. HAHAH (yeah…right!)

Ashlee (no talent) Simpson wrote:

I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.

All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard.

Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?

I seriously doubt it.

How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?

Now can we focus on the things that really matter.

-Ash

Ashlee, shut up!!  You obviously didn’t love yourself the way you were…you got a nose job!!!  Jessica Simpson used to have a super hot body, so it’s news when she blows up like a balloon!  No, it isn’t great for girls to listen to this bashing, but it isn’t healthy for girls to see someone go down to a double zero then blow up like Oprah!  And…..girls shouldn’t think plastic surgery is always the first option, ASHLEE!  Sometimes…you just gotta work with whatcha got!  Be healthy!  Yo-yo dieting and weight going up and down is NOT healthy.  BTW: Jessica is NO size 2!!! I think it is soooo cute when celebrities try to make everyone believe they are still little when pictures don’t lie!  Awww..denial of a celeb!  Love it!   

Ashlee, just shut up!  You aren’t impressive!  How is your eating disorder coming along, Ashlee?

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Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz welcomed their baby boy yesterday, Thursday, in Los Angeles, CA.  The baby weighed 7 lbs., 11 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long.  They named the baby….wait for it…..Bronx Mowgli Wentz!!  I officially hate these stupid celebrities who name their children retarded names just for the sake of trying to appear cool and feathery!  This poor EMO child will be made fun of daily.  They should make his obituary now, because Bronx Mowgli is totally going to committ suicide!

Seriously!!  BRONX MOWGLI.  Do they think they will have a tough little boy just because they named him Bronx?  I mean fuck….his middle name is Mowgli (like from The Jungle Book).  Clearly Pete and Ashlee think this whole parenting thing is a joke.  So stupid!  B.M.W. are the childs initials.  If they wanted to make those initials, they should have named the baby Bowel Movement Wentz. 

A rep for Ashlee “no talent” Simpson and Pete Wentz said, “Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!”

I usually send out a CONGRATS to celebrities with newborns; however, I cannot do that with Ashlee and Pete!  I would have, but they are just so damn stupid.  I can’t congratulate two people who named their kid after a borough in New York and a child who was raised in the jungle by animals.  Pityful!

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Pete Wentz is a complete retard.  I can’t believe he is going to be a father.  Wentz has reportedly told Playboy all about a time when he once played a game of Russian Roulette with a friend.  Again…I cannot believe this person is going to be a dad!  Pete said:

“I pulled a trigger on a gun aimed at myself.  My friend and I did one pull each. We’d been drinking and had taken Ambien.  I feel stupid even talking about it.  It’s one of the reasons I’ve never owned a gun - I’m too impulsive. I’d probably get mad and shoot someone over a part in a song or something.”

The only positive thing about this: Perhaps he will get a hold of a gun and shoot Ashlee Simpson!  It is the only way we will never ever have to hear her crappy singing ever again!  It is our only hope.  So, perhaps we should be happy Pete Wentz is a complete dumbass!  Fingers Crossed!!

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Apparently, Ashlee (no talent) Simpson and Pete (gay) Wentz are having a baby boy!!  Ashlee and Pete filled out a baby registry that had everything in blue.  Unless they want their little girl to chill in a lot of a blue, I think this pretty much means they are having a baby boy!

I can only imagine what Ashlee and Pete are gonna name their child.  Probably something stupid like most celebrities….like… Bookmark Wentz or  Avocado Wentz.

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Awww…perhaps Pete really does love Ashlee (the no-talent loser!!)

“Every woman, no matter who they are or what they do for a living, has the right to wait at least three months before sharing this very personal news. We wanted to wait until after the first trimester before confirming anything, just like any other couple.

“Being a boy I have no idea how to respond to such things and my first instinct was to protect her and the baby.

“It’s insane that you can’t let happy news brew in Hollywood. This wasn’t about press or anything. It was about the health of the baby and trying to find a way to be happy with what should be the most happy time of our lives in the middle of a press blitz.

“I apologize to anyone who felt misinformed but the truth is, the person and growing baby is who I felt most loyal to protect and defend.”

– Pete Wentz

tear….or not actually…

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It’s confirmed!!!  Well…we already knew it….but we heard it from from the horses mouth!

Pete Wentz,28, and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz,23, have posted a message on Pete’s blog confirming Ashlee’s pregnancy:

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.

- Pete and Ashlee Wentz“

I just keep thinking about Ashlee’s old show on MTV and how retarded and immature she was.  I can’t imagine her being mature enough to handle a marriage and a baby.  Hopefully, she will have lots of help.   Ugh….Ashlee Wentz (horrible name).  Whatever….at least we didn’t hear any bullshit from her about staying a virgin until she was married like Jessica!  See how far that got Jessica?!?!

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